Penguin: Start Laughing Now

A few weeks ago, I had a dream. It was after I'd quit smoking and during a time that I really felt the joy rising in my life. In the middle of the night, I was awakened by my own laugh and I just kept laughing once I realized what I was laughing about.

I was walking down the street with a bunch of people and right next to me was a penguin. The penguin was laughing in such an odd and funny way that the rest of us around him started laughing, Such a laugh was it that we couldn't contain ourselves. I can still picture that penguin laughing right now. I don't know what dream analysts would say about the symbolism of the penguin, but it's pretty clear to this laughing penguin companion: The penguin in my dream represents joy, and the fact that he appeared when he did simply means that joy has re-entered my life.

After my destructive, abusive relationship and breakup with my ex, I definitely did a fine job of numbing myself so I didn't have to feel anything more, but lately I've been stripping away the layers so I can begin to feel again. I walk every night with my dog Keo and I experience the weather and whatever I'm feeling or thinking at the time and it's all glorious to me now. Feeling is definitely preferable to being numb. I'm convinced the smoking inhibited joy in my life. It's not that I'll never have another cigarette in my life, but the habit has been squelched and I couldn't be happier. Well, I could be happier, but under the current circumstances, I'm about as happy as a...well, a laughing penguin.