You Gotta Laugh At Yourself
It's always nice to look back at posts you've done or journal entries you've written to see the confidence of somebody in the middle of making positive changes that haven't quite yet stuck. This has happened to me -- and it's no surprise that it did -- but I'd rather be in a better place, so...since I still control my own world, a better place I will attempt to get to.
Smoking has been my primary achilles heal for the past 13 years. I figured that 33 is a good year to stop being a boy and become a man, so I've made it my mission to move beyond that boyish habit, but it's proving a difficult task, I presume because of lack of will to make it so. When I'm not smoking, I feel great, it's just those times of tempation I don't seem to make it through as I would like. I've been back on the smoke for the last week or so and having another final cigarette. No big ceremony or anything, particularly this time, because I just want it to pass like anything else. I'll be recording next week and I found that when I wasn't smoking, the tone of my voice was markedly improved, so that's the primary motivation right now. Probably the best motivation I can come up with for the time being.
While I find it difficult to quit so often (3 times in the last month), I find that each time I discover a little bit more about my downfalls and a little bit more about how I can and will succeed. My free-spiritedness is my main trap, I find, with intimacy being a close second. I'm doing most everything else right for the time being and staying quite engaged with life. I'm exercising regularly, running, walking, playing my music, doing my work as I'm meant to, so everything is in place...just that one little thing.
Nothing to do but not do it. I've had problems in the past with doing certain things that I was supposed to do, but never so much difficulty NOT doing something I shouldn't do. It's quite a persistent habit, this smoking. If you have the opportunity to start, please don't. Because 13 years later you'll be trying to figure out why it's so damn hard to stop, and how much longer it will go on may seem like the great unknown quantity in your life. I have other habits I don't mind so much, but this one can go...please, go. I'm quite through with you.
You gotta laugh at yourself. We humans can be a weak lot sometimes, and it's amazing the things that occupy our minds and the time we spend each day. I can think of a hundred other things I'd rather do other than smoke. So I will.
Smoking has been my primary achilles heal for the past 13 years. I figured that 33 is a good year to stop being a boy and become a man, so I've made it my mission to move beyond that boyish habit, but it's proving a difficult task, I presume because of lack of will to make it so. When I'm not smoking, I feel great, it's just those times of tempation I don't seem to make it through as I would like. I've been back on the smoke for the last week or so and having another final cigarette. No big ceremony or anything, particularly this time, because I just want it to pass like anything else. I'll be recording next week and I found that when I wasn't smoking, the tone of my voice was markedly improved, so that's the primary motivation right now. Probably the best motivation I can come up with for the time being.
While I find it difficult to quit so often (3 times in the last month), I find that each time I discover a little bit more about my downfalls and a little bit more about how I can and will succeed. My free-spiritedness is my main trap, I find, with intimacy being a close second. I'm doing most everything else right for the time being and staying quite engaged with life. I'm exercising regularly, running, walking, playing my music, doing my work as I'm meant to, so everything is in place...just that one little thing.
Nothing to do but not do it. I've had problems in the past with doing certain things that I was supposed to do, but never so much difficulty NOT doing something I shouldn't do. It's quite a persistent habit, this smoking. If you have the opportunity to start, please don't. Because 13 years later you'll be trying to figure out why it's so damn hard to stop, and how much longer it will go on may seem like the great unknown quantity in your life. I have other habits I don't mind so much, but this one can go...please, go. I'm quite through with you.
You gotta laugh at yourself. We humans can be a weak lot sometimes, and it's amazing the things that occupy our minds and the time we spend each day. I can think of a hundred other things I'd rather do other than smoke. So I will.
posted by The Laughing Penguin at 11:54 PM
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